MUSIC

This list will be added to as I circle back to older pieces I enjoyed and discover new (to me) composers pieces.

PIECE(S) I AM CURRENTLY PLAYING/LEARNING:

Schumann - Kinderszenen (Scenes from Childhood) - Träumerei (Dreaming) (KIRN-der-tsay-nuhn TROY-muh-rye) (Currently playable but need's a lot more cleaning up before a proper recording I wish to do. I have decided not to play to 100bpm throughout, but also not the popular 50bpm either, having some parts quicken for that "twinkly sound" the lento pace doesn't have seems ideal.)

PIECE(S) I WANT TO PLAY NEXT:

Rachmaninoff - Op. 3, No 1 - Élégie (Mainly achievable, but not at desired tempo)

Liszt - Consolation No. 2 in E Major (Achievable) & Consolation No.3 in Db Major (Achievable but will need significantly more skill to play well as contains a poly-rhythm which I'm struggling with)

Schumann - Faschingsschwank aus Wien Op 26 - Intermezzo (Carnival Scenes from Vienna) (FAH-shings-shvahnk ows Veen) (Achievable, gave it a go as a bit of a challenge due to it's fast pace and hand work.)

PIECE'S I WANT TO PLAY ONE DAY:

Liszt - Leibestraum No. 3 in Ab Major (LEE-bes-trowm) (THE love song, recently found and fell in love with. Technically difficult and contains very fast technically passages such as very fast 3rd's apart scale bar 29 and 59. Favourite part is bars 38-61 <3)

Debussy - Nocturne (Complex rhythm and hand work currently beyond me)

Chopin - Balladen (Learn order: 1st-4th-3rd-2nd) (All time life goal to play all 4. I have tried 1st and 4th more seriously, but technical passages are still far beyond me currently, as well as overall cleanliness of playing is not passable)

Rachmaninoff - Piano Concerto No. 1 Op. 1 (Yeah...good luck with that. I don't think this is achievable, any concerto is beyond solo pieces for a hobbyist, on account of sheer endurance as well as just constant technical difficulty. If I can learn just the opening passage, I'd be very happy. Saw this in person played by Boris Giltburg during Sir Mark Elder's last concert playing with the Hallé Orchestra, and it was simply incredible. I've not immediately fell in love with a piece quite like that before. That performance was worth crediting specifically and it's a real shame it wasn't recorded. Boris Giltburg does have a youtube channel however not a recording of No. 1 specifically.)

I also wish I could play Jazz. It's so far removed from my romantic preference that it feels completely out of reach right now.

MUSIC BACKGROUND:

For context I did Grade 1 piano when I was in secondary school, but I could play a bit above that and I performed a piece I composed (I found a home recording, it is below!) with the help of my then teacher at the end of secondary in the student concert. I stopped playing from then after basically completely, but back somewhen in 2023 I got myself a piano to start again. Up until last month (09/26) it was impossible to find a teacher so I played by myself trying to relearn everything. 

EDIT: I very recently found a piano teacher! Finally. Seriously, though I'm her first student and it was a fluke finding her through randomly asking my musician hairdresser. After 2 lessons, I feel re-motivated and hyper focused on improving. (Albeit, my teacher is still learning herself for her grade 8 exam, so I will have to learn the middle pedal etc. in my own time) We've focused on my rhythm as a weak spot and I've recently purchased a metronome. I'm also really pushing myself out of my comfort zone with these lessons being in person, to the point that I may have to increase the gap between them. While I would love to practise everyday, there are often weeks where I'm knocked off my feet. That doesn't lend itself well to regular lessons. It is unfortunatly seeming very likely I'll have to give up on lessons because of that.

I started off with flute in primary school so I developed a foundational knowledge (well, Treble clef lol) in music which obviously helps greatly now. During that point the school was paying and providing for the lessons, so my family made full use of that for me. The same happened in secondary school however they only covered 1 instrument, which meant when I wanted to learn piano, my family found a private tutor. Her name was Ellen and looking back, she was an amazing teacher. She was about 5(?) years older then me but over the following 4ish years she got me to a point of composing and playing in front of 1-200(?) people. I developed some bad habit's however, she just wanted piano to be fun for me, and at the end of the day, she revolved around my quirks and was still only a bit older teaching a bunch of people. 

One other private tutor I had for about a year was Ellie. She was an incredible flute player. For context, towards the end of secondary, my school flute teacher was very obviously giving me shitty lessons on purpose, starting to combine them with other people but focusing on them the whole time instead. In the school quintet, despite being a strong enough player, when her favourite student(s) left for college, instead of moving me from second to first, she took over first. It was very, strange to have the teacher perform in a student quintet to say the least. At the begining she was a fine enough teacher but after a while she sucked the joy out of playing, so my parents found Ellie. When I say she was incredible, I mean that. She was also really nice to me. It was known at the start that lessons would only last about a year since she was to go to university(?) I believe. But in that span of time, I learn't more than 2-3 years with that school teacher. 

To be honest... watching it 13 years after, I was so harsh on myself. It is a lot more intensive than I remember and I'm really proud of my kid self for managing to play that in front of people. I was exceptionally anxious as a kid, going through a time of being unable to even speak, ironically even during a group anxiety therapy. I worked through that by myself, eventually. At this point I wouldn't say I have social anxiety at all! I'm not exactly the social type though lol.

Stage fright is pretty common, and I'm still now, no exception to that. It's been pretty hard playing out loud knowing the neighbor's may hear it, let alone for my partner, family or strangers. I play far worse out-loud then in headphones, but nothing will change if I don't keep trying. It all comes back to perfectionism. I remember as a kid, every time I'd mess up in front of my teacher I'd just freeze, I'd get so angry and depressed at myself, every time. No matter how many times my teacher would remind me to keep going, I just couldn't. Now I can keep playing if I mess up, I try hard to do so, to avoid that specifically. I encourage you to keep going too.